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Kids are stressed out.
From the increasing amount of homework to the never-ending extra curricular activities, they have very little time to just be a kid. Some people may argue that this is a good thing: bored kids get in trouble. But others see the constant pressures and demands on a young person’s time as a hindrance to their childhood and teen years, often considered a critical time for self-discovery. Malcolm Harris wrote recently that a lack of autonomy has contributed greatly to the rise in the mental health issues teenagers experience today. Derek Thompson at The Atlantic echoes this sentiment, noting that 40 years ago the most anxious kids in America were from low-income neighborhoods. Now, it’s rich teens in high-achieving school districts.
Parents are catching on. Many are responding by opting out of the traditional school system altogether by choosing to homeschool. Homeschooling allows kids to learn at a pace that is comfortable for them, which eliminates a lot of stress. Often, homeschooling means kids have more free time to explore their own passions.
“Today’s kids in school are so stressed. They have very little free time. I think the ability to sleep in and grow their brains, especially during the teen years, I think unschooling gave [my kids] an academic advantage,” says Judy Arnall, the author of Unschooling to University, a book which follows the trajectory of 30 unschooled children who entered or graduated from postsecondary institutions.
[With unschooling], I think the ability to sleep in and grow their brains, especially during the teen years, gave [my kids] an academic advantage.
Judy Arnall
Unschooling is one method of homeschooling; and it’s the ultimate form of child-led learning. With unschooling, there’s no curriculum to follow; instead the child determines what they learn and the pace at which they learn it. Through play and natural exploration, unschoolers argue, kids will learn what they need to know and when they need to know it. To unschoolers, the learning “milestones” that schools often push on students is arbitrary.
Arnall unschooled all five of her kids, who are now all adults and have either graduated from or are attending university. Four of her kids are in the STEM field.
We talked with Arnall about what unschooling looks like in everyday life and what the benefits and challenges are to this type of approach to learning.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
Amanda: Can you tell me a little bit about your family and your experience with unschooling?
Judy Arnall: I had five kids at the time when [we discovered] my oldest had a learning disability. School was not working for him at all and he hated it. [And so did] my other son who was just one year younger. I used to come home for lunch and it was a battle to get them back in the car and get back to school for the afternoon. When my oldest was in grade two and wasn’t reading yet, I thought, ‘we’re going to homeschool…I’m sure I can’t do any worse.’
And then, like many home educators, we took the school model and brought it home. But the problem with that is that the teaching-learning relationship at home is a love relationship and I didn’t have the authority of the school for the kids to listen to my instruction.
So my kids stopped listening to me by November. They wouldn’t do the work. I was yelling a lot. It was just bad. I thought school was better than this.
Then we just let things go. And they played. And I kept records. They learned to read. They learned to do basic math. We would follow their interests, whether it was science or social studies or whatever they wanted to do. We did that for the next 10 years.
The motivation has to be there. And I think that’s why unschooling is so fabulous because it’s totally child motivated.
Judy Arnall
Four out of my five kids went into STEM careers. They went into engineering, science, bio science and mathematics. You do need a more formal background for those subjects, .but you don’t need to go to school to learn them. You can self teach a lot. My kids self-taught a lot with the help of tutors. When they were stuck, they learned a lot through Internet resources and they were motivated because they had a goal in mind.
If they didn’t want to do something, we said ‘don’t do this if you don’t want to do it.’ The motivation has to be there. And I think that’s why unschooling is so fabulous because it’s totally child motivated.
Amanda: Is there a meaningful difference between self-directed education and unschooling?
Judy Arnall: Self directed education usually means the learner determines the pace. That’s it.
Radical unschooling encompasses the whole lifestyle, not just education but also the parenting. The kids decide when they want to go to bed, when they want to eat, if they want to do chores.
We do have routines in our family, the parents’ needs are just as important as kids’ needs, so if there’s a conflict we democratically solve it.
Judy Arnall
And educational unschooling, which [we did], is just the education piece and not the parenting piece. Although many educational unschoolers also run a very democratic household. For example, if the kids didn’t want to go to bed, [we worked] it out that it so that it met everybody’s needs.
We do have routines in our family, the parents’ needs are just as important as kids’ needs, so if there’s a conflict we democratically solve it.
Amanda: What are some of the biggest misconceptions of unschooling?
Judy Arnall: The biggest one is that the [unschooler] is totally uneducated. People don’t grasp the concept that kids can learn everything they need to learn through play.
The other is that if you don’t start training kids at an early age and hammer it into them every month and every year that they’re never going to do something. For example, they’re never going to get up at seven in the morning for a job in the real world.
But when kids need to do something, for example, when they’re 17 and they get their first job and they need to get up at seven, they will. They don’t need years of practice to do it. They’re the ones motivated to do it, not the parents cracking the whip.
Amanda: How has unschooling benefited your children?
Judy Arnall: It allows them to explore their passions because they have the time to do that. Today’s kids in school are so stressed. They have very little free time. I think the ability to sleep in and grow their brains, especially during the teen years, gave them an academic advantage.
And I think family time and time with siblings was a benefit because they’re all very close now. They live in different countries and cities and they still get together a few nights a week, and they video game together and talk. It’s that family closeness I think is most important.
I think family time and time with siblings was a benefit because they’re all very close now.
Judy Arnall
Amanda: Did your kids come across any obstacles when they wanted to apply to college?
Judy Arnall: They had to pick up courses when they were adults. When they were 19 or 20 and wanted to go into a particular field, they didn’t have the qualifications or credit. So again, motivation kicks in at that point. They went and completed the high school classes that they needed.
Anybody can pick up a course at any time and sometimes it’s a lot easier as an adult because you’re not dealing with all the drama that goes on in high schools.
Amanda: So unschooling has not really been a hindrance to their careers, but it might mean a couple more hurdles they have to clear when they’re 19 or 20?
Judy Arnall: Or if they’re 27 or 45. People change careers all the time, it’s not a hardship.
Amanda: You mentioned one of your kids has special needs. How did that work with unschooling?
Judy Arnall: Unschooling works for everybody. I had five kids and they’re all different. Different temperaments, learning abilities, etc. And I think with a learning disability, unschooling is more helpful because they direct the learning. The parent can easily see how they learn and what they need and they can adapt that environment to what they need.
Amanda: There are some outspoken unschoolers who are now adults who criticize unschooling, because they feel it left them unsure of the direction to take in life. They felt they needed more guidance. Can you speak to that?
Judy Arnall: There are a lot of kids in public schools who go to university and don’t know what they want to do. When I went to one of my kid’s university orientation, they asked ‘how many of you parents are in the field where you started out after high school?’ And only four out of 400 put up their hands.
So that tells me public school kids don’t know what they want to study either. There is going to be a proportion of unschooled kids that feel that they didn’t have much direction and that’s okay. There’s no timelines on learning. Maybe they find their passion at age 40 like I did.
The other thing is some people might see unschooling as lazy parenting. It’s very hands off in terms of curriculum. But I outline in my book that there’s three things that are needed: resources, time, and a facilitator, or an adult around that can get kids the things they are interested in.
Most unschooling parents I know are very engaged parents.
Judy Arnall
Most unschooling parents I know are very engaged parents. Sometimes too engaged like when they ask, ‘what do you want to study, I’ll help you out with that.’
[Then] there’s the [opposite] criticism of ‘oh they just sit in front of Youtube all day’. My kids grew up with screen time and sometimes I really did worry that they had way too many hours on the screen. But in retrospect, screen time help[ed] them in their STEM careers — it help[ed] them with programming and cybersecurity. They’re whizzes at this stuff now. So yes, I think kids are going to learn whether they’re taught [formally] or not…they are constantly learning.
This post has been updated.